


A Quiet, Desperate Thing

by enigmaticblue



Series: Ghosts from the Past [9]
Category: NCIS, Stargate Atlantis, Stargate SG-1
Genre: Alternate Universe, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sentient Atlantis, Stranded
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-07-26
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:14:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25532692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enigmaticblue/pseuds/enigmaticblue
Summary: Tony just wants to see John one more time.
Relationships: Anthony DiNozzo/John Sheppard
Series: Ghosts from the Past [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/466627
Comments: 41
Kudos: 380
Collections: Hurt/Comfort Bingo - Round 11





	A Quiet, Desperate Thing

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the hc_bingo prompt "coughing up blood."

_“Drowning is a quiet, desperate thing.”_ ~ Brenna Twohy, “Forgive Me My Salt”

Tony pours himself a cup of coffee as soon as he enters the briefing room, glancing around to make sure the rest of his team is taken care of. “Anybody need a refill?”

Andrew, Jody, and Kyra all answer in the negative. “We’re good, sir,” Kyra replies.

He glances at his newest team member, Amber Park, a young captain who doesn’t have much field experience, but knows the ins and outs of the gate system. She’s eager for the experience, though, and she’s been told that she should treat Tony as her commanding officer. So far, Tony hasn’t had any problems with her.

“Captain Park? Can I get you a refill?” he asks.

She looks startled. “You don’t have to do that, sir.”

“Maybe not, but that wasn’t the question,” Tony says gently.

She flushes slightly. “I would like a refill, yes, sir.”

“Better,” Tony replies, refilling her cup and taking a seat at one end of the table.

Andrew smirks, clearly amused by the fact that their new team member hasn’t figured Tony out yet. “Do we have a mission, sir?”

“We do, in fact, have a mission,” Tony replies. “Turns out that one of our off-world research sites has been requesting more materiel than could be considered reasonable. Or it could be completely reasonable, and we’re worried over nothing. But it’s our job to find out.”

“Graft and corruption, my favorite!” Kyra chirps enthusiastically. “When do we leave, sir?”

Tony holds up a cautionary hand, although he’s wearing a smile. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. It might be nothing, and we don’t want to put them on the defensive immediately. This is just a little fact-finding mission, nothing more.”

General Landry enters, nodding to those assembled. “Thank you all for being here. Director DiNozzo, have you briefed your team?”

“Just the basics,” Tony replies. “I thought I’d let the experts explain _why_ we think there might be a problem.”

Dr. Lee enters in a rush. “Sorry I’m late. My last meeting went long.”

The research facility is devoted to naquadah research, which can be dangerous, and is often done off-world now that the threat of the Goa’uld had been effectively neutralized. But naquadah is valuable, and very closely tracked. Lee raised the alarm when the station began requesting more than he thought reasonable.

“But they might be running an experiment that used more than I anticipated,” Lee admits. “The reasoning in the reports seems reasonable, but something just isn’t adding up.”

“It’s my job to make sense of this stuff, doc,” Tony says cheerfully. “Just tell us what we’re looking for.”

Lee starts losing the signs that something is wrong and Park is nodding along, so it seems like she understands the technical aspects that are going right over everyone else’s heads.

“Captain Park, are you clear on our objectives?” Tony asks.

“Yes, sir, I think so,” Park replies. “I understand what the experiments are doing, and how muchnaquadah they _should_ need, versus how much they’ve requested, and what explanations would be reasonable.”

Tony rubs his hands together. “Great. I think we’re set.”

“They don’t know why you’re coming,” Landry says. “We’ve told them that you’re there to investigate capacity for another couple of researchers.”

Tony nods. “Not a bad cover story.”

“I’ll expect you to check in within twelve hours to let us know if you need additional time, and how long you expect to be there,” Landry directs.

Tony nods. “Yes, sir.

They suit up, and Tony marvels at how normal it’s becoming to put on tactical gear, and to wear a uniform. He knows his team feels right at home in the SGC for that reason, plus the thrill of going to different planets. They aren’t just fighting terrorists, but planetary threats.

And he loves going through the gate, although he’d like it a lot more if he were with John.

“All right, everybody, stay tight,” Tony calls as the gate whooshes to life, remembering all too well that mission a couple of months ago when they’d been attacked by the Lucian Alliance. He doesn’t think his current job is any more dangerous than chasing terrorists all over Southeast Asia, but Tony knows that there are some unique challenges when traveling through the gate.

They run into one immediately after Tony leads the way through the gate. They’re not expecting resistance, and so he has his weapon loose, but not drawn.

That turns out to be a mistake, because Tony walks through the event horizon and sees five people with guns aimed at his face.

“Your reputation precedes you, Director DiNozzo,” one of the men says. “We don’t need or want your interference.”

Tony really doesn’t like the sound of that, and bites back a curse as his team is captured and disarmed one by one as they pass through the gate. “Really, we’re not here to rain on anybody’s parade.”

“You already have,” the same man says sourly. “We’ll have to scrap our mission here, but I’m not going to let you interfere in our operations again.” He turns to one of his friends. “Dial it up.”

They’re forced back through the gate, and it doesn’t take long to figure out _why_ they’d been sent to this particular planet.

“How bad is it, Captain Park?” Tony asks wearily.

She grimaces. “It’s not good, sir. I _might_ be able to fix it, but the emphasis is on the word _might_.”

Tony sighs, staring at the blackened DHD. “How do you think they got home?”

“My bet would be on a ship,” Andrew mutters. “We know they have them.”

“Did they set us up?” Kyra asks. “Or set the director up?”

Tony shakes his head. “Maybe, or maybe they just put a pin in this place when they found it and marked it as a spot to maroon people.”

“They knew your name, sir,” Jody says quietly. “And they knew we were coming, maybe down to the minute. They set an ambush, which may mean we have a mole.”

“I think that’s a given,” Tony admits. “But it’s the Trust, and that’s kind of what they do. They spy, and they steal, and they murder people. The real question is why they didn’t just shoot us out of hand.”

Captain Park clears her throat. “Killing us means bodies, begging your pardon, sir. This way, they could claim that we never made it, and it was a gate malfunction.”

Tony frowns. “Won’t the SGC know otherwise?”

“Maybe, but…” Park trails off.

“She’s right,” Andrew agrees. “Our people will show up to ask questions, but no one but the Trust operatives saw us, and they can claim ignorance. That’s assuming they even stick around. If they leave immediately, then the SGC has five missing people plus us. They wouldn’t even know where to begin looking.”

“Can they pull gate addresses off the DHD?” Tony asks.

Park seesaws her hand. “It’s an imperfect system. They can pull addresses, but it’s not like the DHD records them in order. I think they could probably pull the last fifty addresses that the DHD dialed, but it could take days, if not weeks, to find us.”

Tony nods. “Okay, then it seems like we’ll be camping. Park, your first priority is that DHD. Do what you can to get it up and running again. Everybody else, let’s set up camp. Not too near the gate, because we don’t want surprises. We need a water source, and let’s take stock of the food situation.”

Tony already knows that it’s not going to be great. They’re all carrying field rations, of course but they were headed to a well-established base, with no need for field rations. They don’t have enough to last long, so they’ll likely need to forage and hunt.

He’s pretty sure the rest of his team has those survival skills, but Tony doesn’t. He has some basics, but that’s about it.

“Jody, do me a favor and remind me to look into survivalist courses when we get back to civilization,” Tony says, putting emphasis on the word “when.”

“Sir, yes, sir,” she says a little cheekily, and Tony takes that as a good sign.

~~~~~

“Dial in from Earth,” Chuck announces.

John is in Woolsey’s office with McKay, going over mission plans for the next few days when the announcement comes. “Do we have a transmission?”

“Yes, sir,” Chuck replies. “Radio transmission for you. It’s General O’Neill.”

John gets a sinking feeling. “Put him through. I’ll take it on my earpiece.”

“Yes, sir.”

O’Neill’s voice comes through loud and clear. “Colonel Sheppard, I have some bad news.”

“What happened to Tony?” John demands, knowing that’s the only reason for such a call.

There’s a long pause. “We seem to have lost him.”

John can’t quite believe the transmission. “Excuse me? You _lost him?”_

“ _I_ didn’t lose him,” O’Neill protests. “He was on a recon mission with his team to investigate some missing naquadah. Best we can tell, there’s a mole that reported he was coming. No one was supposed to know his true mission there.”

“But someone did,” John says flatly, “and now he’s _missing_.”

“The whole team is missing,” O’Neill replies. “So they’re probably together, and his team is very capable.”

John rubs his eyes. “What can I do?”

“Nothing,” O’Neill admits. “We pulled the last fifty gate addresses, and we’ll eliminate them one by one.”

“How long is that going to take?” John demands. “And how long has he been missing?”

“Three days,” O’Neill admits. “And it will take as long as it takes. We’re moving as quickly as we can.”

John knows that Tony’s job is dangerous, and that there are people in the SGC—or the Trust, or whatever other shadow organization is still operating—that would prefer that Tony not ferret out what they’re doing.

That doesn’t mean he’s okay with the fact that that SGC has _lost his husband_.

“I want to come back,” John says.

O’Neill’s tone is regretful. “I can’t let you do that, Colonel. We have our best people on this, and you need to stay on Atlantis.”

John ignores the fact that he’s in Woolsey’s office, and Woolsey and McKay are staring at him. “And I need to be looking for Tony.”

“There’s nothing you can do here,” O’Neill replies patiently. “Stay put, Sheppard. That’s a direct order. I promise, once we find him, we’ll send him your way.”

The transmission cuts out and John curses bitterly.

“John?” McKay begins tentatively.

“They lost Tony,” John snaps. “And O’Neill won’t let me look for him.”

Woolsey looks apologetic. “I’m not sure we have the power to send you through the gate, Colonel.”

John scrubs his hands over his face. “We do, but it would be an unnecessary drain on the ZPM. I know it.”

“What do you need from me, John?” Rodney asks.

John hesitates. “Can you figure out a way to sort through gate addresses to pinpoint where they sent Tony?”

Rodney grimaces. “I wish I could, John, but we’ve been here before. We’ve never been able to isolate a particular address from the DHD. The SGC has all of our research about that, and it’s up to date. Zelenka and I made sure of that.”

John nods. “Okay, then I guess we’ve done all we can. _Fuck_.”

“Tony is tough,” Rodney insists. “He’ll be fine.”

Woolsey nods. “Assistant Director DiNozzo has always struck me as a very capable person, and I’m sure he’s surrounded by capable people, if Agent Wells is any indication.”

John nods. “Right. You’re right. Tony will be fine.”

He hopes. He has nothing but hope right now.

~~~~~

Tony slumps against a tree and scrubs his hands over his face. He’s tired, wet, hungry, and he had a tickle in his throat that started their second day on the planet. Right now, he feels the heat of a fever coming on, and the tightness in his chest doesn’t bode well. He has no idea whether this planet has a name or a designation, but privately he’s calling it “wet and damp.”

Maybe if he weren’t feeling so shitty, he would come up with a better name, but he’d been soaked through their first night here when it started pouring, and he had yet to get dry. Unfortunately, they don’t have tents, but they do have emergency blankets, so that’s something.

But it’s not enough to stay dry.

“You okay, sir?” Jody asks quietly.

Tony attempts to smile, but he’s pretty sure it looks more like a grimace. “Peachy.”

She gives him a sympathetic look. “They’ll be looking for us, sir.”

Tony nods. He’s heard of the heroic attempts made in the past to rescue other Stargate teams, and he has no doubt that they’ll do the same for his team. O’Neill is oddly invested in him, and there’s only one of Tony, and only one investigative team for the entirety of the SGC.

And if the SGC doesn’t turn the universe upside down to find them, John certainly will, right after he rips everyone a new asshole.

“The trouble isn’t them looking for us, Jody,” Tony replies grimly. “The problem is them _finding_ us.” Normally, he would be trying harder to keep up her spirits, but he needs her to be realistic right now.

She winces. “Yeah.”

It’s been five days since they were stranded, and they’re running short on rations. Andrew and Kyra are both experienced hunters, and the Trust operatives had left them with their packs and their knives. The snares they set had some success, or they would be in far worse shape, but Tony knows that won’t last forever. Luckily, they had been able to find a source of clean water immediately, so they’re good on that front.

At least, they’re pretty sure it’s clean. No one other than Tony is getting sick, but that tickle in his throat has nothing to do with parasites or other contaminants.

He’s afraid that if they don’t get rescued soon, he’s going to get a lot sicker.

Which is why he needs Jody to be realistic. “I need to talk to you,” he says.

“Sir?” Jody asks.

“I’m not feeling so great,” Tony admits. “If this goes on for much longer, I’m probably going to get a lot worse. If that happens, and I’m incapacitated, you’re in charge.”

Jody’s eyes widen. “Me, sir?”

“You have a level head, and this is an investigative unit. You’re inclined to let Captain Park take over because she’s an officer, but she doesn’t have the field experience you do,” Tony explains patiently. “But right now, while I’m fine, I’m telling you that you’re in charge if I’m not.”

Jody pulls in a deep breath. “I don’t like this, Tony.”

“Neither do I,” Tony admits. “But here we are.”

She nods. “I understand, sir. I’ll follow your orders.”

“I trust you,” Tony replies.

“You should rest,” Jody tells him. “We can handle everything, sir.”

Tony gives her a look. “There’s not much resting going on.”

“Do what you can, sir,” Jody replies.

Tony tips his head back and closes his eyes, hoping to catch a nap, but while the branches of the tree he’s under protect him from the worst of the rain, the occasional drip on his head prevents him from sleeping more than a few minutes at a time.

Really, rescue can’t come too soon.

The rain finally stops that evening, just as the light begins to fail. It’s a cold camp, because any deadfall they might use is too damp to burn, but at least the MREs are hot.

“Amber, report,” Tony says, his voice hoarse due to the sore throat.

Her dark eyes are weary. “I don’t know, sir. I’m still trying to find a workaround for the missing components.”

Tony nods. “I know. Just do your best.”

The lack of rain means that they can all get some sleep, but that’s about when the tickle in Tony’s throat turns into a cough. It’s not a little cough, either, but a deep, wet one that has his team looking alarmed.

“I’ll be fine,” Tony insists between coughing fits.

“We’ll all be fine,” Andrew says gamely, but there’s doubt on his face.

Over the course of the night, Tony starts shivering, and he knows his fever is climbing. He tries to muffle his coughing as best as he can to avoid disturbing the others, but he can tell that it’s getting worse, not better.

When the morning comes, it’s the first sign of the sun they’ve had in five days, but Tony’s afraid that it’s too little, too late.

“Come out into the sun for a bit,” Jody coaxes. “It’s at least a little warmer.”

Tony is shaking too hard, so she and Andrew get him to a patch of sunlight, and Tony curls in on himself as he begins to cough again.

He covers his mouth with his sleeve, and when he pulls his arm away, he can see flecks of blood dotting the fabric.

Jody sees it, too. “Sir…”

Tony shakes his head. “Nothing you can do. Remember your promise.”

“Yes, sir,” she says unhappily.

The sun does help a little bit, taking the chill off and allowing his clothing to dry out slightly. Still, the coughing just gets worse, racking his frame, resulting in more blood.

Andrew tries to help by pulling Tony close to his chest to give him something to brace against. “It’s okay, sir,” he mutters. “I won’t tell your husband we cuddled if you don’t.”

“Don’t think he’d mind given the circumstances,” Tony manages to say. “Jody’s in charge once I pass out.”

“Yes, sir,” Andrew says. “Good choice. Better her than me.”

Tony chuckles at that, but it just makes him cough harder. “Don’t make me laugh.”

“Didn’t mean to, sir,” Andrew replies. “Just relax. I’ve got you.”

And Tony is grateful to pass out not long after that, wishing he could see John one last time.

~~~~~

John has been on tenterhooks ever since O’Neill’s call, and last he heard, Tony was still missing. Not that he’s heard much; the message had been very much “don’t call us, we’ll call you.”

He’s canceled all of his team’s off-world missions, and tries to focus on what he needs to do around the city, grateful that Lorne and the others are competent enough not to need him much.

John wants Tony with him. He wants him to be safe. If he had his way, he’d keep Tony on Atlantis always. It’s dangerous on Atlantis, too, but at least John could do something about it.

On the eighth day that Tony is missing—and John is counting the minutes, not just the days—they have another gate activation from Earth.

“Sir,” Chuck begins. “It’s General Landry. He needs to speak with you. It’s urgent.”

John doesn’t even need to guess why that might be. “Put him through.”

“We found Assistant Director DiNozzo and his team,” Landry begins, getting directly to the point, which John appreciates. “Unfortunately, by the time we found them, DiNozzo had developed a severe case of pneumonia. Dr. Lam has him in a medically induced coma, but he’s in a very bad way.”

John closes his eyes. “What do you need from me, General?”

“You’re his next of kin, and have the authority to make medical decisions for him,” Landry continues, his voice gentling. “Dr. Lam believes that his best chance of a full recovery would be treatment from one of the Ancient healing devices, but moving him is risky.”

John already knows his answer. “I want him here, sir. I’ll assume the risk of transfer in order to get him the best treatment.”

Tony is a natural gene carrier, and he seemed to connect with Atlantis. In John’s experience, Atlantis can sometimes produce miracles for the right people.

And if Atlantis can’t help Tony, if things take a turn for the worse—well, at least John will be with him.

“I thought you might feel that way,” Landry replies. “We’re prepping him for transport now. His team is insisting on accompanying him.”

John has no problem with that. “I’ll make sure they have suitable quarters, sir.”

“Good luck, Colonel,” Landry replies. “We all hope that DiNozzo has a speedy recovery.”

“I appreciate that, sir,” he says. “I have to go make preparations.”

John calls Keller first. “Jen, they’ve found Tony, but he’s in a medically induced coma with a severe case of pneumonia. Dr. Lam thinks his best chance of recovery is with the Ancient healing device.”

There’s a pause, and she asks, “Does this have something to do with the scarring on his lungs?”

“I don’t know, but I would assume so,” John admits. “Gate travel is risky, but—it didn’t sound like I had a lot of options.”

Keller made a thoughtful noise. “I’ll have a medical team to the gate room in a few minutes, Colonel. We’ll take good care of him.”

John messaged the new quartermaster—Stackhouse had been rotated back to Earth for a new assignment at Cheyenne Mountain—to request quarters for Tony’s team.

“Sorry for the short notice, Sergeant Mayes,” John apologizes. “But I just received word myself that they’re coming through in the next few minutes.”

“Not a problem, sir,” Mayes says cheerfully. “They’ll be ready.”

In spite of the circumstances, John smiles. He’s found that the best quartermasters are those who look at short-notice requests as personal, exciting challenges, rather than a disruption. Stackhouse trained Mayes, and it’s easy to tell.

Rodney skids into the gate room just behind the medical team a few seconds later. “She told me we were expecting DiNozzo,” he says. “Is there anything I can do?”

John shakes his head. “We’re just hoping that the Ancient healing device is better than what they could give him on Earth at the SGC. He’s not doing very well right now.”

Rodney clasps his shoulder. “He’s going to be fine.”

John glances over at him. “He’s in a medically-induced coma. I would hardly call that fine, McKay.” He turns back to stare at the gate.

Out of the corner of his eye, he can see the unhappy slant of McKay’s mouth. “I’m sorry,” he adds. “I shouldn’t snap at you.”

“It’s fine, John,” McKay says patiently, which is how John knows that _McKay_ knows just how bad the situation is. “It’s been a stressful week.”

“That’s putting it mildly,” John mutters.

Roughly ten minutes later, and probably about fifteen minutes before they would lose the gate, the first person steps through. John recognizes her as Agent Jody Wells. John waves at the Marines guarding the gate to stand down.

Agent Wells straightens when she sees him, and John gets the sense that she barely refrains from saluting him. “Sir, AD DiNozzo is right behind me.”

“Status?” John asks.

Agent Wells grimaces. “It was bad, sir, but Dr. Lam believes that he’s more likely to make a full recovery if he gets treatment here. There was no one on the Mountain capable of handling a Goa’uld healing device.”

“Define ‘bad,’” John orders.

“He was coughing up blood,” she admits. “And he was unconscious for two days before the SGC found us and sent through a naquadah generator to manually dial the gate.”

Whatever John might have said in reply is interrupted by the arrival of the rest of Tony’s team wheeling a stretcher with him on it. He’s strapped down and hooked up to an IV, his face pale and clammy.

“All right, people,” Dr. Keller calls. “Oxygen, and transfer to an isolation unit!” She looks at John. “I promise, you’ll be able to see him as soon as we get him settled, but you need to let us work for now.”

John looks at Tony and feels a renewed sense of hopelessness “Of course, doc. Let me know what you need from me.”

“You’re going to be running the Ancient healing device,” she replies. “I think it might respond better for you.”

John has used the device before, although he knows Keller can wield it just as well as he can. On the other hand, John will gladly take the opportunity to do _something_ for Tony.

Lorne enters the gate room just as Keller’s team is leaving. “Sir, I heard over the radio. What can I do?”

“Mayes was arranging quarters for Tony’s team,” john replies. “I’m going to join Keller in the infirmary. Would you show them where they need to go?”

“Fifty cent tour coming right up,” Lorne agrees easily. “Happy to do it.”

John nods. “Thank you. Everyone, Lieutenant Colonel Evan Lorne. Lorne, I think you’ve met Agent Wells already.”

“I have,” Lorne replies.

Agent Wells nods. “I can handle introductions from here, Colonel Sheppard. I know you want to see Tony.”

“Thank you, Jody,” he replies warmly. “And thank you for keeping Tony alive for me.”

“I just wish I could have done more for him,” she admits.

John shakes his head. “Tony finds trouble just fine on his own. It’s not your fault.”

Tony is settled in a bed in an iso room when John gets to the infirmary, another IV drip going and an oxygen mask over his face. “I would have thought he’d, uh, have a tube or something,” John comments.

Jennifer glances up from her pad. “He was extubated in preparation for transfer here. His oxygen saturation levels are lower than we’d like to see, but he’s getting by on oxygen for now. I’m not sure how the healing device would respond to the intubation, so we’re going to try it this way for now.”

John nodded. “Yeah, let’s see what Atlantis can do for him.”

He can feel Atlantis, the city’s eagerness to help, and to heal. John’s no doctor, but he knows his city, and she’s telling him about the persistent pulmonary edema, the damaged lung tissue, the raw throat that’s a product of Tony’s harsh coughing, but also the scarring. Atlantis is also telling him exactly how to fix it.

By the time John comes up for air, Tony’s pallor has been replaced by a healthy flush, and John feels like he’s just run a marathon.

“John, are you okay?” Keller asks.

“Tired, but fine,” John replies. “How’s he doing?”

Keller looks over his readings. “His oxygen saturation has improved tremendously, the pulmonary edema has been reduced, and some of the scarring on his lungs is gone. I think it’s going to take another couple of sessions before he’s fully back to normal, but we should wait a little while before the next treatment.”

John nods. “Can I stay with him?”

Keller looks amused. “Could I prevent it?”

“Not a chance,” John replies.

“Then, yes,” Keller says. “I’ll send for a cot.”

“No need,” John replies, plopping down in a chair next to Tony’s bed and grabbing his hand. “I’ll be fine right here like this.”

~~~~~

Tony doesn’t remember much after he passes out. His dreams are fractured and chaotic, punctuated by the blurry, worried faces of his team, cups of water pressed to his lips, lights and water and more rain, and the sense of cold that could only come from a gate.

When he wakes fully for the first time, he blinks at the ceiling. It’s bright, and he feels a sense in the back of his mind that can only be Atlantis.

“Tony.”

Tony turns his head. “John?” He remembers his wish, and wonders how he managed to get here.

John is unshaven and rumpled with dark circles under his eyes. “How are you feeling?”

Tony has to admit that he’s more than a little disoriented. “Good? I think. I don’t—are we on Atlantis?”

John barks a laugh that holds little humor. “Yeah, Tony. We’re on Atlantis. What do you remember?”

Tony blinks, trying to figure out how he would have reached Atlantis and when. “Wait, the rest of my team?”

“They’re here,” John assures him. “They’re fine. Better than you are, that’s for sure. What do you remember?”

Tony shakes his head. “We were stranded on a world, and I got sick. I think I passed out.”

John reaches out and runs his fingers through Tony’s hair. “Yeah, you were in a coma when you got here. Scared the shit out of me.”

“I’m sorry,” Tony says, and he really is. “I didn’t think I’d see you again, and it was the only thing I wanted.”

John makes a sound that might be close to a sob. “You’re not allowed to almost die, Tony.”

“That doesn’t explain how I got to Atlantis,” Tony says, wanting to steer the conversation into safer territory. He doesn’t want to think about how close he was to death either.

John sighs and grips Tony’s hand. “Based on what your team reported, you were on that planet for about 8 days. It took that long to sort through all the gate addresses and locate the one you were on, and then they had to send through a naquadah generator to manually dial the gate. Once they got you back to the SGC, Dr. Lam determined that your best chance of recovery was to send you here, since we have the Ancient healing devices, and you’ve got the gene.”

“They dialed Atlantis for me?” Tony asks. “I didn’t think they did that all that often.”

“To save your life?” John replies. “Yeah, they dialed Atlantis. Your team insisted on coming as well.”

Tony is still feeling disoriented. “What happened after that?”

“Like I said, you were in a coma, and we—I—used the Ancient healing device on you,” John admitted. “The doc says that the device essentially healed the scarring on your lungs. There are a couple of spots that are still a concern, but you’re doing a hell of a lot better now.”

“The fact that I’m breathing is testament to that,” Tony tries to joke, although he’s sure it falls flat.”

“Don’t even go there,” John orders, his tone harsh. “This was too fucking close.”

“I know,” Tony replies. “Believe me, I know. I could tell things were going downhill by day five.”

John manages a smile. “I know I met Jody before, but your whole team is awesome, by the way. They were the ones who kept you alive until the SGC could get to you guys.”

Tony smiles. “I’m pretty fond of them myself.”

“Soon as the doc clears you, you can come back to my quarters to finish your recovery,” John says. “She thinks it’s going to be another day at least, although Atlantis was very eager to help. I think she likes you as much as she likes me.”

Tony manages a smile. “I’m very likable.”

“You are, but Atlantis practically gave me a tutorial on the healing device and your physiology to help,” John replies with some amusement. “It took three treatments, but you started to turn around pretty fast after the first one.”

Tony feels a sense of relief. “So, I’m okay.”

“You’re okay,” John replies, squeezing his hand tightly. “But I would really prefer it if you made it back here for reasons other than being near death in the future.”

“You and me both,” Tony agrees. “0 out of 10, would not recommend.”

John presses his forehead to Tony’s. “You can say that again.”

“Thanks,” Tony says. “For being there on the other end of this.”

“Always,” John replies.

And Tony just breathes, desperately grateful that he can do so without pain, and with John there as a quiet, solid presence, and the satisfied hum of Atlantis in his head.


End file.
